Origins of Jesus

DISCLAIMER: Contents below are fictional and must be read and taken as such.

THREE PROOFS THAT JESUS WAS MEXICAN:
1. His first name was Jesus
2. He was bilingual
3. He was always being harassed by the authorities.

But then there were equally good arguments that JESUS WAS BLACK:
1. He called everybody "brother"
2. He liked Gospel
3. He couldn't get a fair trial.

But then there were equally good arguments that JESUS WAS JEWISH:
1. He went into His Father's business
2. He lived at home until he was 33
3. He was sure his Mother was a virgin, and his Mother was sure he was God.

But then there were equally good arguments that JESUS WAS ITALIAN:
1. He talked with his hands
2. He had wine with every meal
3. He used olive oil.

But then there were equally good arguments that JESUS WAS A CALIFORNIAN:
1. He never cut his hair
2. He walked around barefoot
3. He started a new religion.

But then there were equally good arguments that JESUS WAS IRISH:
1. He never got married
2. He was always telling stories
3. He loved green pastures.

But perhaps the most compelling evidence that JESUS WAS A WOMAN:
1. He had to feed a crowd at a moment's notice when there was no food.
2. He kept trying to get the message across to a bunch of men who JUST
DIDN'T GET IT!
3. Even when He was dead, He had to get up because there was more work for
him to do.