When you take a long time, you're slow.
When your boss takes a long time, he's thorough.
When you don't do it, you're lazy.
When your boss doesn't do it, he's too busy.
When you make a mistake, you're an idiot.
When your boss makes a mistake, he's only human.
When doing something without being told, you're overstepping your
When your boss does the same thing, that's initiative.
When you take a stand, you're being pig-headed.
When your boss does it, he's being firm.
When you overlooked a rule of ettiquette, you're being rude.
When your boss skips a few rules, he's being original.
When you please your boss, you're arse-creeping.
When your boss pleases his boss, he's being co-operative.
When you're out of the office, you're wandering around.
When your boss is out of the office, he's on business.
When you're on a day off sick, you're always sick.
When your boss has a day off sick, he must be very ill.
When you apply for leave, you must be going for an interview.
When your boss applies for leave, it's because he's overworked.
Thursday, February 21, 2008
When you take a long time, you're slow.
Andorra (AD) Bon Nadal
United Arab Emirates (AE) I'd miilad said oua sana saida
Afghanistan (AF) De Christmas akhtar de bakhtawar au newai kal de mubaraksha
Antigua and Barbuda (AG) Merry Christmas
Anguilla (AI) Merry Christmas
Albania (AL) Gézuar Krishlindjet
Armenia (AM) Shnorhavor Sourp Dzunount
Netherlands Antilles (AN) Bon Pasco, Bon Anja
Angola (AO) Merry Christmas Boas Festas
Antarctica (AQ) Merry Christmas, Felices Pasquas, Hristos Razdajetsja
Argentina (AR) ·Feliz Navidad!
American Samoa (AS) La Maunia Le Kilisimasi
Austria (AT) Frohe Weihnachten
Australia (AU) Happy Christmas
Aruba (AW) Bon Pasco, Bon Anja
Azerbaijan (AZ) Tezze Iliniz Yahsi Olsun
Bosnia and Herzegowina (BA) Sretam Bozic, Hristos se rodi
Barbados (BB) Merry Christmas
Bangladesh (BD) Shuvo Baro Din
Belgium (BE) Zalig Kerstfeest
Burkina Faso (BF) Joyeux Noel
Bulgaria (BG) Vessela Koleda
Bahrain (BH) Mboni Chrismen
Burundi (BI) Noeli Nziza, Joyeux Noel,
Benin (BJ) Joyeux Noel
Bermuda (BM) Merry Christmas
Brunei Darussalam (BN) Selamat Hari Natal
Bolivia (BO) Feliz Navidad
Brazil (BR) Feliz Natal
Bahamas (BS) Happy Christmas
Bhutan (BT) krist Yesu Ko Shuva Janma Utsav Ko Upalaxhma Hardik Shuva
Botswana (BW) Merry Christmas
Belarus (BY) Winshuyu sa Svyatkami
Belize (BZ) Merry Christmas
Canada (CA) Merry Christmas, Joyeux Noel
Cocos (Keeling) Islands (CC) Selamat Hari Natal
The Democratic Republic of The Congo (CD) Joyeux Noel
Central African Republic (CF) Joyeux Noel
Congo (CG) Joyeux Noel
Switzerland (CH) Fröhlichi Wiehnacht, Joyeux Noel
Cote D'ivoire (CI) Joyeux Noel
Cook Islands (CK) , Kia orana e kia manuia rava i teia Kiritime
Chile (CL) Feliz Navidad
Cameroon (CM) Merry Christmas, Joyeux Noel
China (CN) Sheng Tan Kuai Loh
Colombia (CO) Feliz Navidad para todos
Costa Rica (CR) Feliz Navidad
Cuba (CU) Feliz Navidad
Cape Verde (CV) Boas Festas
Christmas Island (CX) Merry Christmas
Cyprus (CY) Eftihismena Christougenna, Noeliniz kutlu olsun ve yeni yili
Czech Republic (CZ) Vesele Vanoce
Germany (DE) Frohliche Weihnachten
Djibouti (DJ) Joyeux Noel, Mboni Chrismen
Denmark (DK) Glaedelig Jul
Dominica (DM) Merry Christmas
Dominican Republic (DO) Feliz Navidad
Algeria (DZ) Mboni Chrismen
Ecuador (EC) Feliz Navidad
Estonia (EE) Haid Joule, Rôômsaid Jôule
Egypt (EG) Kullu sana inta tayib
Eritrea (ER) Melkam Yelidet Beaal, Poket Kristmet
Spain (ES) Feliz Navidad
Ethiopia (ET) Melkam Yelidet Beaal, Poket Kristmet, Merry Christmas
Finland (FI) Hauskaa Joulua
Fiji (FJ) Merry Christmas
Falkland Islands (Malvinas) (FK) Merry Christmas
Federated States of Mirconesia (FM) Merry Christmas
Faroe Islands (FO) Gledhilig jol
France (FR) Joyeux Noel
Gabon (GA) Joyeux Noel
United Kingdom (GB) Happy Christmas, Nadolig Llawen (Wales)
Grenada (GD) Merry Christmas
Georgia (GE) Gilotsavt Krist'es Shobas
French Guiana (GF) Joyeux Noel
Ghana (GH) Afishapa
Gibraltar (GI) Merry Christmas, Feliz Navidad
Greenland (GL) Glædelig Jul, Juullimi Ukiortaassamilu Pilluarit
Gambia (GM) Merry Christmas
Guinea (GN) Joyeux Noel
Guadeloupe (GP) Joyeux Noel
South Georgia and The South Sandwich Islands (GS) Happy Christmas
Guatemala (GT) Feliz Navidad
Guam (GU) Felis Pasgua
Guinea-bissau (GW) Boas Festas
Guyana (GY) Merry Christmas
Hong Kong (HK) Sing dan fiy loc, Merry Christmas
Honduras (HN) Feliz Navidad
Croatia (Local Name: Hrvatska) (HR)Sretan Bozic
Haiti (HT) Jwaye Nwel
Hungary (HU) Boldog Karácsonyt
Indonesia (ID) Salamet Hari Natal
Indonesia (ID) Selamat Tahun Baru
Ireland (IE) Nollaig Shona dhuit
Israel (IL) Mo'adim Lesimkha
India (IN) Shub Christu Jayanti
British Indian Ocean Territory (IO) Happy Christmas
Iraq (IQ) Idah Saidan Wasanah Jadidah
Islamic Republic of Iran (IR) Christmas Mobarrak
Iceland (IS) Gleðileg Jól
Italy (IT) Buon Natale
Jamaica (JM) Merry Christmas
Jordan (JO) Mboni Chrismen, Merry Christmas
Japan (JP) Merii Kurisumasu
Kenya (KE) Merry Christmas
Kyrgyzstan (KG) Hristos Razdajetsja
Kiribati (KI) Merry Christmas
Comoros (KM) Joyeux Noel, Mboni Chrismen
Saint Kitts and Nevis (KN) Happy Christmas
Democratic People's Republic of Korea (KP) Sung Tan Chuk Ha
Republic of Korea (KR) Sungtan Chukha
Kuwait (KW) Mboni Chrismen, Merry Christmas
Cayman Islands (KY) Merry Christmas
Kazakhstan (KZ) Hristos Razdajetsja, Rozdjestvom Hristovim
- Lebanon (LB) Milad Majeed
Saint Lucia (LC) Happy Christmas
Liechtenstein (LI) Frohliche Weihnachten
Sri Lanka (LK) Subha nath thalak Vewa, Nathar Puthu Varuda Valthukkal
Liberia (LR) Happy Christmas
Lesotho (LS) Happy Christmas
Lithuania (LT) Laimingu Kaledu
Luxembourg (LU) Schéi Krëschtdeeg
Latvia (LV) Priecigus ziemassvetkus!
Libyan Arab Jamahiriya (LY) Mboni Chrismen, Buon Natale, Happy Christmas
Morocco (MA) Mboni Chrismen
Monaco (MC) Festusu Natale
Republic of Moldova (MD) Craciun fericit si un An Nou fericit!
Madagascar (MG) Joyeux Noel, Arahaba tratry ny Krismasy
Marshall islands (MH) Monono ilo raaneoan Nejin
The Former Yugoslav Republic of Macedonia (MK) Streken Bozhik
Mali (ML Joyeux Noel
Mongolia (MN) (Tibetan Buddhist and Muslim)
Macau (MO) Boas Festas, Sing dan fiy loc
Northern Mariana Islands (MP) Filis Pasgua, Merry Christmas
Martinique (MQ Joyeux Noel, --
Mauritania (MR) (Muslim 100%)
Montserrat (MS) Merry Christmas
Malta (MT Il-Milied it-Tajjeb
Mauritius (MU) Merry Christmas
Malawi (MW) Merry Christmas, Moni Wa Chikondwelero Cha X'mas
Mexico (MX) Feliz Navidad
Malaysia (MY) Selamat Hari Krimas
Mozambique (MZ) Boas Festas
Namibia (NA) Geseende Kersfees
New Caledonia (NC) Joyeux Noel
Niger (NE) Joyeux Noel
Norfolk Island (NF) Merry Christmas
Nigeria (NG) Merry Christmas
Nicaragua (NI) Feliz Navidad
Netherlands (NL) Prettige Kerstdagen
Norway (NO) Gledelig Jul
Nepal (NP) Yesu Ko Shuva Janma Utsav Ko Upalaxhma Hardik Shuva
New zealand (NZ) Happy Christmas
Oman (OM) Mboni Chrismen
Panama (PA) Feliz Navidad
Peru (PE) Feliz Navidad
French Polynesia (PF) Joyeux Noel, La ora i te Noera
Papua New Guinea (PG) Bikpela hamamas blong dispela Krismas
Philippines (PH) Maligayang Pasko
Pakistan (PK) Bara Din Mubarrak Ho
Poland (PL) Boze Narodzenie
St. Pierre and Miquelon (PM) Joyeux Noel
Pitcairn (PN) Merry Christmas
Puerto Rico (PR) Feliz Navidad, Felices Pascuas, Felicidades
Portugal (PT) Boas Festas
Palau (PW) Merry Christmas
Paraguay (PY) Feliz Navidad
Qatar (QA) Mboni Chrismen
Reunion (RE) Joyeux Noel
Romania (RO) Sarbatori vesele
Russian Federation (RU) Hristos Razdajetsja, Rozdjestvom Hristovim
Rwanda (RW) Noheli Nziza
Saudi Arabia (SA) Mboni Chrismen
Seychelles (SC) Happy Christmas, Joyeux Noel
Sudan (SD) Wilujeng Natal
Sweden (SE) God Jul
Singapore (SG) Sheng Tan Kuai Loh, Nathar Puthu Varuda Valthukkal, Happy Ch
St. Helena (SH) Happy Christmas
Slovenia (SI) Srecen Bozic
Svalbard and Jan Mayen Islands (SJ) Hristos Razdajetsja, Gledelig Jul
Slovakia (Slovak Republic) (SK) Vesele Vianoce
Sierra Leone (SL) Happy Christmas
San Marino (SM) Buon Natale
Senegal (SN) Joyeux Noel
Suriname (SR) Zalig Kersfeest, Wang swietie Kresnetie
Sao Tome and Principe (ST) Boas Festas
El Salvador (SV) Feliz Navidad
Syrian Arab Republic (SY) Mboni Chrismen
Swaziland (SZ) Happy Christmas
Turks and Caicos Islands (TC) Happy Christmas
Chad (TD) Joyeux Noel, Mboni Chrismen
French Southern Territories (TF) Joyeux Noel
Togo (TG) Joyeux Noel
Thailand (TH) Ewadee Pe-e Mai
Tokelau (TK) Merry Christmas
Tunisia (TN) Mboni Chrismen
Tonga (TO) Kilisimasi Fiefia
Turkey (TR) Mutlu Noeller
Trinidad and Tobago (TT) Happy Christmas
Taiwan (TW) Kung His Hsin Nien bing Chu Shen Tan
United Republic of Tanzania (TZ) Krismas Njema Na Heri Za Mwaka Mpya, Happy
Ukraine (UA) Veseloho Vam Rizdva
Uganda (UG) Webale Krismasi
Uruguay (UY) Feliz Navidad
- Holy See (Vatican City State) (VA) Buon Natale
Saint Vincent and The Grenadines (VC) Happy Christmas
Venezuela (VE) Feliz Navidad
Virgin islands (British) (VG) Merry Christmas
Virgin islands (U.S.) (VI) Merry Christmas
Viet Nam (VN) Chuc mung Giang Sinh
Vanuatu (VU) Merry Christmas, Joyeux Noel
Wallis and Futuna Islands (WF) Joyeux Noel
Samoa (WS) Manuia Le Kirisimasi
Yemen (YE) Mboni Chrismen
Mayotte (YT) Krismas Njema Na Heri Za Mwaka Mpya, Joyeux Noel
Yugoslavia (YU) Cestitamo Bozic
South Africa (ZA) Geseënde Kersfees, Happy Christmas
Zambia (ZM) Happy Christmas
Zimbabwe (ZW) Happy Christmas
It is impossible to lick your elbow.
A crocodile can't stick it's tongue out.
A shrimp's heart is in it's head.
People say "Bless you" when you sneeze
because when you sneeze, your heart stops for a
If you sneeze too hard, you can fracture a rib.
If you try to suppress a sneeze, you can
rupture a blood vessel in your head or neck and die.
if you keep your eyes
open by force, they can pop out.
It is physically impossible for pigs to look up into
A pregnant goldfish is called a twit.
More than 50% of the people in the world have never
made or received a telephone call.
Rats and horses can't vomit.
Rats multiply so quickly that in 18 months, two rats
could have over million
The "sixth sick sheik's sixth sheep's sick" is said
to be the toughest
tongue twister in the English language.
Wearing headphones for just an hour will
increase the bacteria in your ear by 700 times.
The cigarette lighter was invented before the match.
A duck's quack doesn't echo, and no one knows why.
23% of all photocopier faults worldwide are caused by
people sitting on them
and photocopying their buttocks.
In the course of an average lifetime you will, while
sleeping, eat 70
assorted insects and 10 spiders.
Most lipstick contains fish scales.
Cat's urine glows under a black-light.
Like fingerprints, everyone's tongue print is
OVER 75% OF PEOPLE WHO READ THIS WILL TRY TO LICK
THEIR ELBOW !!!!!
Posted by lotanbr at 7:35 AM
Wednesday, February 13, 2008
DISCLAIMER: Contents below are fictional and must be read and taken as such.
THREE PROOFS THAT JESUS WAS MEXICAN:
1. His first name was Jesus
2. He was bilingual
3. He was always being harassed by the authorities.
But then there were equally good arguments that JESUS WAS BLACK:
1. He called everybody "brother"
2. He liked Gospel
3. He couldn't get a fair trial.
But then there were equally good arguments that JESUS WAS JEWISH:
1. He went into His Father's business
2. He lived at home until he was 33
3. He was sure his Mother was a virgin, and his Mother was sure he was God.
But then there were equally good arguments that JESUS WAS ITALIAN:
1. He talked with his hands
2. He had wine with every meal
3. He used olive oil.
But then there were equally good arguments that JESUS WAS A CALIFORNIAN:
1. He never cut his hair
2. He walked around barefoot
3. He started a new religion.
But then there were equally good arguments that JESUS WAS IRISH:
1. He never got married
2. He was always telling stories
3. He loved green pastures.
But perhaps the most compelling evidence that JESUS WAS A WOMAN:
1. He had to feed a crowd at a moment's notice when there was no food.
2. He kept trying to get the message across to a bunch of men who JUST
DIDN'T GET IT!
3. Even when He was dead, He had to get up because there was more work for
him to do.